Hmmmm

Inspired by Yingzheng's MSN pic

Wat to do..my niece is the BOSS

Stupid Game Hints

I was just browsing through some game hints for Red Alert...then I saw this...

Create a map and have a river run through the middle. Make sure the river is three squares wide. Next, put about three squares of ore on one side and a lot of ore and mostly gems on the other side. Then, add whatever objects desired and play the map. Make sure you start on the right side with a lot of ore and gems and build. You can make a lot of things while the CPU can barely make anything. Use the river for sneak attacks with a lot of transports.

WTF??? Then play for wat? Might as well don't give the CPU any ORE at all... RUBBISH! and to think its put up in the website..liews...

some other hints...are less stupid but still very DUH

If you are under attack by enemies that are coming by bridge, transport, APC, or Chinook, destroy them quickly to cut them off.

Of cuz la..but not all the time u can destroy them on time ma..DUH@!

When starting a skirmish game, build everything you can see on the right-side menu. You will be able to build new things. Keep doing this until everything is unlocked. But make sure you build an Ore Refinery first, so you can get money easily.

Another DUH one...of cuz you can unlock everything when you have built everything la...how can that count as a hint....

Maybe there are very stupid pple in this world...i dunno...

I was discussing wat to wear with jiarong...when he got quasi-fed up and typed

"Fine. Don't waste my breadth talking to you. I'll do that for YOUR WEDDING!"

"U dun want to waste ur Breadth. I also dun want to waste my length. Haha...."

Well done boss...hahaha

My sister bought me a present

My sister bought me a present from Japan.




They are from the anime BLEACH. And I like this captain. very cool sia... His most quotable quote...

"you are slow...even at falling..."

hahaha

Weird things happening lately

Some person commented on my old blog post

"Well written article."

And the post is http://idunwantyoutoknow.blogspot.com/2007/09/my-goal-is-to-be.html

I was abit stun..i realise it is from a blogger who sells insurance...

I think he put a bot to look from some keywords in blogs and then add in comments...

I guess the title "my goal is to be..." fooled the bot...

Liews...so weird la....

Aniway...
i got this






Wah...i tot bluescreens died out during XP...never knew it survived to this day in a different form

Videos of my favourite baby!

Trying to talk!


Trying to talk again!


Now she cries...haha

Cute hor!

Keeping the fire going...

Just thought of an analogy not too long ago...

People always talk about love as it is some kind of fire...and the title of this post has been used freqeuntly to...describe(?) a relationship...

Yes love is like a fire..

You need the fuel..the oxygen...and the heat..

To start a fire..you need fuel..ie...pple need to be ready for a relationship. Got sparks but you are not ready...aka...you have wet wood...fire wun start.. If got dry wood but no sparks...also no fire... and here i liken sparks as the heat...

So you got a fire going...you need to keep feeding the fire...

there are 2 kinds of fuel...those that are easy to burn..and burn fast..ie small twigs..and those that are difficult to burn but when they do, they burn for a long time... ie thick logs.

Twigs are like surprises...when you start your relationship..you have to have many surprises aka tricks up your sleeve to win the other party over.. and later when the fire is burning hot enough...you can throw in a log or two(long term promises and small daily sweetness like helping her do stuff)...and the fire should be ok...but if you stop doing anithing...the wood gonna burn finish..then the fire will DIE!

So you have to feed the fire...but if you keep feeding logs...also cannot! sometimes new log haven burn...old log die liao!!! if you got burn things before you would know.... then how....so need to put in twigs also! so that got enough heat to help the new log burn...so you must always go for surprises and stuff also!

But you cannot always just burn twigs! you will tire yourself to death! so must use log also! But log alone cannot last too! So a good mix is recommended!

Yah...so need to keep the fire burning..must remember...dun let the fire die out!!!

and I love my dear so much! Muacks...(ok i know..off topic...but can't resist to say it...muahahaha)

In my ah ma's ward

Im in my ah ma’s ward. Writing this post in MS Word. Tonight I had volunteered to stay over and take care of ah ma over night. Well…not really la. Im going to sleep. And that worries me. Because I’m quite a heavy sleeper. Oh well…hope im not such a block head.
These days since my ah ma was admitted to hospital I have been thinking. In the past, gua ma also got admitted into NUH. Why I never make the time out of my “busy” schedule to visit? Maybe I have taken her for granted. Putting my studies first. Telling myself that there will be time when I go work. When I am through with SOC and all its time-consuming projects. There will be time. Just that my gua ma couldn’t wait that long. And now I have decided not to make the same mistake twice. Moreover I’m the eldest grandson. In the Chinese sense. My elder cousins by my auntie don’t count.
Both of my grandmas brought me up. They were there always during my younger days. Both of my parents work till late everyday and my siblings and I were all brought up by ah ma. Sometimes we will go gua ma there to play with our cousins. Ah ma was about 60 then. Still healthy. In fact mama now also 50+. Time flies.
When I think back…so little comes back. Little bits and flashes… I remember a time when I came back and was eating Maggi mee. Gong gong was there with ah ma. I don’t remember much about gong gong. Just his angpao full of coins. I can’t remember how he sounded like anymore. He left when I was 8. The first funeral that I have experienced or I could remember. He spent some of his last days at home with a oxygen tank to help him breathe. I can’t remember how he sounded like..just a very deep and hollow sound comes to my head when I try to recall. Something like what Treebeard sound like in Lord of the Rings. My papa keeps telling me gong gong’s last words to me. “要自爱” …. I will always remember ah ma crying out “老阿伯” as she staggered foward to see gong gong one last time during his funeral.
Do I want to live long? I would say yes. I want to see what my descendants would be like. I want to see them succeed and lead good lives. But the curse of being long-lived is to see your loved ones leave this world. Geck always says she want to live up to 60 and not anymore. And that I must be with her all the way. Means I must stay healthy! Argh….seems abit hard to do…tsk…hahaha… So that I may live long enough to be with Geck till the last moment.
Now the only thing that I am wondering is…what should I do…what must I do to be filial grandson. How do you balance work, family and friends?
I try my best.

My ah ma went into hospital on thursday night.

Today I went to visit her. She say she got this green band on her hand because she got risk of falling so cannot walk.

She tell us that its the wrong colour. Green means can walk. Red then cannot. Must tell the doctor.

My ah ma is always like to tell jokes. I think i got my lameness from her.

My Niece

A Testimony by my Brother

~Story-Prologue~
Alone from Teonan you came, from a little known part of China
Thousands of miles away from home, In search of a better life
Sailing the South China Sea, to join your husband here
Although he cheated on you, you kept faithful still
Bore him four sons and a daughter, which grew up strong and tall
You gave your life for their ... Read Morewellbeing, you sacrificed our youth
Hoping for that day, they’ll all make their mark
Hoping for that day, your off springs will make you proud

~Memories~

I don... Read More’t feel like sleeping I said, but with a smile she’ll always say
Close your eyes my boy and your dreams will take you there
Kind to me she was, Patient and supportive
Mischievous though I may be, she’ll never raise her voice
Although I was rude, never have I got beaten
Every first month of the year, besides reunion dinners
The next thing I long to do, Is to visit your place
For curry and cash wrapped in a pack
Every year I see her face, in a loving voice she’ll always say
Chiang, work hard ok?
And make your parents proud
Go to the best school, and make the world your footstool
My response is always the same; I’ll convince her that I will
When I tried to do my best, yet there’s a always “THE NEXT DAY”

~The Arm In Troubled Waters~

There are always times, our family lived lack
Although we should give, but from you we always received
Loans and blessings and even gifts, you never fail to give
Like the calm after the raging seas, your providence is the assurance
I may never know everything, but this thing I know
You have given us everything, a life... Read More, comfort and a soul
Given us so much amah, yet we gave only little to you
From birth, youth and even old age, your love will never change
From your heart it just kept flowing, your sacrifice it kept us going

~Rise and Fall~

Many years have passed, since you set foot here
Age got the better of you, And time have took its toll
A weakened spirit and an ailing body, and still you carried on
Never given up, Never given in
Despite your age, a fighter you always were
However steady you may be, Age still got a hold
The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak... Read More, the spirit fights but the flesh gives in
It all started with a fall, which has left you unable to walk
In the ward you silently lay, wondering if it is the last of days
At first we were worried, but then we understood
It’s just a fractured bone they say, our worries went away
Even with a peace of mind, your heart is filled fear
Why are you in this hospital? We always try to tell
Even while we screamed and yelled, your blocked ear worked really well

~Tragedy~

It was 1pm, the time my service end
I was greeted by the news, the one I dread the most
The moment I read the message, my mind was in a mess
Less than 24hours to live, And I wondered what happens if
I rushed down on a cab, Can... Read More’t put it on any tab
There I saw your face, Alive but not awake
I stood there trying to resist death; you laid there with a struggling breath
The moment your heart stopped beating, despite the verdict I tried
Hoping that you’ll open your eyes, I tried touching, rubbing and calling
But the fact’s that you have died

~Regret~

At first I visited often, Once or twice I did
When my work started to catch up, my mind I... Read More’ve never make up
There’s time there always will, “She’ll be ok” my mind assumed.
Mum always visits now and then, invited me to tag along
Too busy I was, too tired I am, that I would always say
There’s always time there always will, my mind will always assume
On the day I finally decide, to drop by and say hi
I was greeted by grave news, and I rushed to be by your side
There you lay struggling, Breathing your dying breath
Thought you’re technically alive, But your conscience have went away
I prayed for you, I swear I did, But it was not enough
The last thing I would ever expect to know
The last time you saw me was months ago
And how would I ever expect, that was the last time you’ll ever see me
Now that I’m here again, your life is fading away
I’m sorry amah I really am, oh the guilt and the shame
Why didn’t I chose to visit, when I know that I still can

Now that I... Read More’m finally here, the time for you is near
On that thought I burst to tears, Regretful and apologetic
Realizing that I have forsaken, whose life to me she’ve given.

~Epilogue~

To him that mourn let him not forget
To cherish those around or regret
Never put your family below your personal gains
Cos you never know if you’ll ever see them again

This Testimony is dedicated to Tan Siok Hiang

Departed peacefully 12 October 2008

Aged 87

In loving memories and honor of one of the greatest grandmother that have ever lived.

Although your name will fade with time
It will stay in our heart
Although your name will die with us
Through this post amah, be immortalized

Love,

Ze Chen

I wrote the following shortly after my grandma's demise.. because I wanted something to remember the last three hours of my grandma's life.

12 OCT
This morning I woke up with my sister shouting at us," Sueh Gim say ah ma only left with 24 hours". I was shocked... with a bit of disbelief. Is this really it? I don't know. I saw my grandma on the bed. Motionless, except for the tilting of her head when she grasped for air. Lying there on a lovely Sunday afternoon. My brother was sobbing. Soaking the surgical mask that covered his mouth. My mother was holding my grandmother's hand. Rubbing it, hoping for some kind of response. "昨天她还有一点反应。" My mom's voice broke mid sentence. There was no response. Her feet were swollen. The monitor beside her, shown her vital signs.. her heart beat..and blood pressure and many other figures and graphs that I did not understand. Her heartbeat rate averaged at 98. Almost everyone went for lunch. I stayed behind as I had mine. I don't know what to do. Talk? To hold her hand? I choose the latter, as I couldn't speak my dialect fluently. I felt like saying, "Don't give up yet." But I guess its just selfish to do so. Soon everyone came back. All of us crowded around her bed. Standing with a solemn expression upon our faces. I can't tell what is on everyone's mind. The sugical masks that covered our faces din't help. Al the while I was thinking, are we supposed to talk to her, to encourage her to come back? I don't know. Seems like that only happens in drama serials. And suddenly her heartbeat started to fall steadily. Her heartbeat ave at 90. Then 80. Then 60. Finally it was at 20. Her heartbeat was so slow and weak that the equipment can't register the heartbeat rate at times. Many of us started to tear and a few sobs could be heard. I looked at my cousins. Simyee was crying softly with her husband, Cedric, beside her, comforting her. Yahong and Sheryl was crying. At this point, my younger sister have arrived, sobbing loudly, joining our cousins. Yiyang stood there expressionless. Just like me. But I know it must have hurt more for him. At least I felt that he cared for grandma more than I did. The doctor came and after a short examination, told us that it was her final stage. We can only make her as comfortable as possible. Thus, we continued our virgil beside her bed. Waiting for the inevitable. I found myself staring at the monitor. Looking at it plot my grandma's heartbeat. Seeing the peaks go flatter and flatter. Yiyang went into the room and looked hard at Ah ma. He then went forward and squeeze Ah ma's right shoulder, and left the room hurridly. Finally, a few minutes before 4, her heart stopped completely. I took out my phone and messaged Geck "My grandma has left."

--------------------------------

I keep telling myself that grandma had a good life and she had so many of us. All filial to her. Loving her. She can leave with no regrets and go happy. But just like the rest of us...I hope she would have lived a bit longer, so that I may do a bit more before she leave.

Ah ma byebye.

My Niece

My niece is about 3 months old. She is very cute. So I put pictures of her here.

My Sister

Aiyoh...was reading my sister's blog..

Haiz...somehow...feel that she dun treat us like family...her family is out there...her cell group...her friends...alamak...dunno la... but thinking back..at her age..i did feel the same ba...i felt that my friends were the close ones...compared to my family..but i thot that was because i was the eldest and the others are like the young little kids whom cant understand a teenager's troubles...

oh well...I guess that is something i dun like to see in my family..we bottle things up...except my mom perhaps... we dun share emotions and thoughts... I don't know. I did tried to "befriend" my sister...still she seem so near yet so far...physically here...yet...not there.. i don't know.. makes me feel resentful over church...her cell group...for stealing my little sister away from us. Ah crap...no cell group/church...still have other friends...oh well...at least "people of god" will not lead her astray...i pray... I don't know..i think im just bitter..that she enshrines her friends...and her cell group...

exp...she lost her handphone...and her CG helped her find it..never give up..and encourage her...and she was like..."yeah pple of god damn zhai"...alrite...somewhat along those lines...im like...liews..i would do that for her too...I would do that for a friend too...and i'm not a person of god...tsk... good things u accredit to god and the bad things u accredit to others....wat is this sia...

aniway..thats why parents dun like their children to go church...damn it...im going to BAN my kids from going church until they are 21.

Alrite...im getting mixed up here....right..nothing to do with religion...just...that.. liews she's my little sister...well not the only little sister...but still.. hey i care for her...and stuff...and want her to do well too.. but it seems...to me..that unless im from her cell group...or in her best friend's list...she wun listen to me.. haiz...

haiz...its quite easy to listen to wat i say...i just say...do homework before playing games/taking a snooze...and she's 15 you know...not like some 12 year old eager to pounce on the first game he sees...

haiz...beens quite sian to see her like no improvement in academics...even though i tried to push her...although in the wrong way according to dearie...and after all that extra effort and words of encouragement/anger...she never appreciates it... i just hate it...been her brother for 15 years...seen her grow up for 15 years.... and i do not measure up to her cell group or her sec sch frens...true i wasn't there all the time...NS took up sometime...being with my own friends...being in school....

so near yet so far...and all she had to do..was ask...

New RSAF Commercial...see liao wanna fly!

I am the wind.
On land, no blade of grass moves without me.
At sea, every rising wave is touched by me.
Wherever you are, I am high enough to see you.
And strong enough to reach out to you.
And place strength in your hand.
You may not always see me.
But you would always feel me.
For I am here.
For a higher purpose.

This is the new RSAF Commercial "I am the Wind". Has been playing on TV Mobile like every time there is commercial time... And I'm putting here cuz i think its quite good.. Its like after watching it, I really feel that extra "UMPHf" and pride to be in the RSAF. Wah seh... I'm here for a higher purpose leh. I think its a very good tagline... Oh well...

The Wedding Date

I was flipping thru my DVDs and I saw this..and decided to watch it. It is a nice romantic comedy...and there was a line that the male lead said to the female lead that struck me...

"I rather argue with you than make love with someone else."

Oh well..its a line that I would like to share with you peps...hahaha..maybe cuz its how i feel towards Geck...

OH well..

I love Yue Yun

I love Geck

Geck Woon Space

Geck Woon constantly takes up 1/4 of my laptop monitor. You see that I have opened many applications but that area is always kept clean. That is the place where Skype sits. That is the place where my Geck would show me herself through the webcam. It is never covered. Even when she is sleeping, like when this screenshot was taken. She takes up 1/4 of my monitor. but she takes up half of my life. Rightfully so. She is my other half wat. =)

She is the center of my life

Everyday I just wait for two things to happen.

1) Getting hungry
2) Geck coming online

My Siblings

These days staying at home..i got to play with my siblings alot. disturb them. talking to them. acting stupid with them. But I think about it. About when they were young. Did I play with them enough? How was I to them? Did I teach them the right stuff? Was I good to them? I can't remember some parts of it. I can't remember when they were little children. Did i unleash horrendous torture on to them? Or I made them smile? I don't remember. And when I was in army...that period was a blank. I was not home often. And they just grew up. By the time I was back, I was in University. And they are all grown. My brothers at least..have all grown to my height (and twice me width) and my sister was not a little baby animore. I felt that I missed watching them grow up. Just those short 3 years. And I missed it. And all those nights staying back in school studying just makes it worse. I wonder if my dad felt that way. Its like my dad is watching a fast motion video...u noe those type which show how a plant grows everyday in a matter of seconds. Before he knew it...his eldest son is 25..just 5 years younger than him when his eldest son was born. I wonder if he ever felt that he missed out something. At least looking back.. I think I have learnt a lesson here. Time passed cannot be taken back. Children grown into adults cannot be shrunk to children again. I will spend time with my children. I will watch them grow. I promise. I don't want to miss a single moment. Ever again.

Hot view

I don't know what Chinghui wants... a hot view or something "hot" to look at...hmmm

UROP to hand up in 5 days and all i get is this stupid mat

5 days to UROP report submission and all I got is this stupid thing that reminds me of straw mats....

Yes, you can tell Pikachu to run, dance and fish. No, you can't tell Pikachu to do your homework.

Right.. so I should start doing my work...

Relationships?

Life is so weird... I just got a phonecall from a friend... and my friend is very unhappy in the relationship...the partner..seems to be really like shit...things I think shouldn't be done to a loved one and..the partner did everything!...like make my friend feel insecure......everything..and Im like...gosh..why are u still sticking to the relationship? My friend cannot give up the relationship... Im like wat the? So I tell my friend ..don't be silly...and break up with your partner... To me..its seems like the partner is abusing my friend ..like scolding my friend and making my friend unhappy 70% of the time.. liew...so horrible...tsk..my friend deserves better..

And I wanted to go to friendster to give my fren some support, when I noticed that another friend of mine just changed galfren...haiz..so saddening to see that...cuz they were together for very long...since JC till..like end of uni of the gal..at least 5-6 years...and broke up...a bit shock la..cuz i was thinking they super stable...cuz the guy pilot then alot of times overseas training... and still manage to stay together all these years...don't know what happened.

Oh well.. i guess its my job to make sure my dear don't need to face this kind of pain. Hehehe. I love her.

Tat

My Proudest Achievement

My Proudest Achievement- Able to make my girlfriend feel loved even when we are separated by the Pacific Ocean.

The reign of the evil egg tart

And all I did was say "Chai tou kway, Sze Cha, Chai fan..."

Disciplinary Bulletin : Eating Flower Petals During Weddings

When I was in unit, I was invited to the wedding of a specialist in my unit. Most of the senior specialists and officers were invited.

When I was there, in the middle of the table was a bowl of flower petals. I was hoping it was a bowl of crackers or maybe a saucer of peanuts...as it is custom to put some light snacks in the centre of the table before the actual dinner.

I was curious about the purpose of the flower petals so I asked LTA LLL. He told me that flower petals could be eaten and he proceeded to pop one in his mouth. The rest of us were quite startled by the idea and thus did not eat the flower petals. Fortunately.

The fanfare started and the couple walked in on the red carpet. Everyone rose from their seats and cheered...and started to shower the couple with flower petals...

I looked at LTA LLL and said, "Its a good thing we did not eat the flower petals. I wonder what would it be like to ask the waiter for another helping..."

Stories of my babyhood

My mom is telling baby stories to my sister again. My sister's prenancy has stirred many memories from my mom's mind. Most of the stories are of me. Just now she was telling about the time i fell. I was on the bed..and my mom was with me. Playing with me. I was just a few months old. And I was happy..so i kicked my legs..and i began to move away from my mom. My mom tried to catch me..but i was out of reach so she tried to run to the other end of the bed...but it was too late, I have kicked myself off the bed and hit the floor, crying.

My mom had said it many times. She scolded herself as she felt that she did not do her part in taking care of me.. and cried. because I kept falling down. And she was afraid I would become retarded. At least I didn't. Still quite smart..muahahaa

Wanling the Classy Babe

Me: When you no class? (refering to when you do not have night class)
Wanling: erm. rarely i hope. tink wants to be a classy babe.

Dotz...

What should I write here?

What should I write here?

Anything I want to tell Geck, I have put on our secret blog. Yes its secret. You can't read it! muahahahaha.

What else is there to say?

What I did for the day?

Its quite sianz. Its work or play.

No major discoveries.

http://www.xkcd.com/370/

I love this comic. Its really the comic for computer sci pple like us.

Tat

First thing I see in CNY

At around 12:04...i went to the toilet in my mom's room. And saw shit. literally. My stupid brother forgot to flush. Damn it. I'm really going to 过肥年 just that its 施肥 的肥。

Hahaha....I hope its going to be well. Fertile year ahead!

Tat

So long more

Hai.. when will the day come? Where I can fly to america to meet my beloved one?

HAiz...still got one sem to go. Its not like its holiday...then i can just slack ard...and wait for time to pass. I have to use my brain. Hate to use my brain when I'm in this "missing someone special" mode.

Oh well.. at least I get to see Geck everyday... Even though she watches show sometimes and I just see her cute face.. wide eyed.. and letting out bursts of laughter at times. Haha.. but she gives me enough attention though. Don't fret. Just want to describe how she looks like when she watches TV while I am watching her. hahaha. you don't get to see it in real life one. Cuz...well..you just don't sit in front of her when she is watching a favourite show....thats just asking for your ass to be kicked. Hahahaha.

4 months....can't wait...

Anger problems

Today I got angry. And made Geck upset. Damn. I need to learn how to control my temper. So many times I have lost it. Of course, I would not say I lost my anger for no reason. But I realise that there are no reasons in the world that could justify being angry at the one girl that you truly love.

So I had this "brilliant" idea. I made some cards. Not really make. I just took my old ENS namecards and started writing. Writing about what I should do when I get angry with Geck. So that when I'm angry and I can read those cards and calm myself down. I think its important that we write things down. Seeing it is more effective than just visualizing it in my mind. Especially when you are angry, you tend to get your mind clouded.

So the only problem now is, can I remember to look at the cards before I start saying out my angry words? And I must bring the cards whereever I go.

Some might think, that this demostrates my lack of love for my gal, because I need a constant reminder. But I think it demostrates my commitment to the problem and my determination to give my girl the life that she deserves. A good life for my perfect girl.

Another lazy Sunday

Last night I chatted with Geck Woon till 5am. And after that I went to sleep.

Woke up feeling a slight headache.

Went ahead to do my tutorials. Damn it. I hate Series and limits! And they come back to haunt me!! Haiyoh... why must I take this module?

And I manage to ...well... come up with sorry excuses for answers...(not all la...I am... of a certain calibre too...)

And it is another day I dedicate to missing my dearest. Everyday, I look forward to nothing but seeing her online. Vic says I'm impeding her SEP experience. Oh well. I guess if she needs the experience then i will shift aside quietly. But when she has enough and wants a taste of something familiar, then I will step in. I hope.

She is so far away. Everyday I just worry. I'm going to get wrinkles man. But I try to keep a positive outlook. So that she will get some of the "positive energy" from all the positive thinking I'm doing. That is.. something I aim to do. I guess I'm successful 70% of the time.

4 months and 16 days to seeing her.

I miss her so much.

A fresh start

I think I should leave my past behind.

And start a new life here.

To tell everyone about my happiness.

My love.

Geck Woon.

This blog is for you.